Anguished Love
by mydarlingl0ve
Summary: Kakashi realizes his feelings for Sakura a lottle too late. Major Character Death.


_No, not her. Anyone but her, please. For the love of Kami._

I prayed in silence as I ran full speed toward the medical tent. My feet barely touching the ground as I ran.

 _Don't take her from me. Please. Not again. This can't happen again._

The second I reached the tent, I fell to my knees in agony. Sakura was slumped on the ground, blood flowing like a broken dam from her stomach. The choked and broken gasps that escaped her blood covered mouth felt like a knife to my heart. I quickly stood and ran over to her, immediately applying pressure to the gash.

"Sakura, Sakura, look at me. You'll be okay. I got you." I frantically spoke, panicking as I tried to remember the mantra she always said when she was healing a patient.

"Ka-Ka," She attempted to speak, but choked on her own blood.

"Damn it. Sakura, I need you to hold on, please." I begged, the scent of blood was making my head spin, but I ignored it and focused on applying pressure. Her blood didn't seem to be slowing as it ran between my fingers and continued to pool between us.

"Stop," She managed to whisper. I looked up at her and she weakly smiled at me before slowly closing her eyes.

My heart stopped beating as her body slumped over to the side and out of my reach.

"Sakura?" I called out to her, hoping she had just lost strength and needed to lay down, but no response came.

"SAKURA!" I shouted once more, looking down at my hands completely soaked with her blood before I hooked a finger under my mask and pulled it down, the scent of blood stronger now that the barrier was gone, but I didn't care.

Blinking away tears, I slowly reached over to her and pulled her into my lap, holding her tightly against my chest.

"Please, Sakura. I can't lose another person I love. Not you." I choked back a sob and let my tears roll down my face, no longer caring if they were seen.

"Kami, give her back. Please, I WANT HER BACK!" I openly sobbed into her hair and began slowly rocking back and forth. My entire world was falling apart around me. First Obito, then Rin and sensei, and now her. I couldn't save her.

"Sakura, please," I begged once more. "I love you." I whisper into her hair before kissing the top of her head.

"I love you so much. Why couldn't I say it sooner? Now you're gone and I'm alone again." My sadness outweighed my frustration as I tightened my grip on her and pressed her chest against mine.

"Kakashi," A warm hand was on my shoulder as I held her.

"Go away." I growled, not caring that it was Tsunade standing behind me.

"Kakashi, please." She spoke softly, but sternly. "I need to take care of her."

"WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE DONE THAT BEFORE…. before-" I began to yell, but feeling Sakura grow cold in my arms was all I could think of. All I could feel.

"Put her on the table." She instructed in the same soft tone, helping me stand on my shaking legs.

Each step I took toward the table broke my heart even more. Every step felt like goodbye.

Gently setting her on the table, I continued to stare at her as I took a step back, unable to tear my gaze away from her.

"Kakashi," Tsunade reached up and pulled my mask back into place, my silence did nothing but make me feel numb.

 _How could I let this happen? Could I have stationed more ANBU here to protect her? Where was everyone else while she was attacked?_

"Hatake,"

 _Why couldn't it have been me? Why do I have to watch those I love die?_

"Hatake,"

 _Why couldn't I save her?_

My tears fell freely once more before I could stop them. I collapsed to the ground and shouted into the grass, "WHY COULDN'T I SAVE HER??! WHY?!"

I punched the ground as hard as I could, causing it to quake.

"ENOUGH!" Tsunade shouted as she grabbed my arm to prevent me from punching the ground again.

"Kakashi, you did what you could. I- I wish I could've been here." She choked softly and blinked her own tears away.

"I can't go through this. Not again." I sobbed, clutching my chest. "I can't."

The day of Sakura's funeral, the entire village was mourning. Everyone was dressed in black from head to toe, avoiding all eye contact.

I sat underneath the tree at the old training ground where I tested my team to get those bells from me. My icha icha book was nowhere to be seen. I didn't want it. Everything reminded me of Sakura.

I pulled my hitai-ate off my head and let it limply fall to the ground beside me. Running my fingers through my hair, I sighed and looked up at the sky. There was no sunshine, only dark gray clouds and distant rumbles of thunder.

"Guess it's time." I sighed again and stood, the bark of the tree sharp on my back, but I ignored it.

With a heavy heart, I trudged my way to the memorial stone. A bouquet of cypress and marigold flowers in my hand, with one red rose in the middle hung limply in my hand as I walked silently.

The moment I arrived at the stone and saw I was alone, I fell to my knees in front of her freshly carved name. Tears threatened to fall as I leaned my forehead against the stone, an anguished sigh escaping my masked lips before I pressed a shaking kiss to her name.

"I love you," I whispered against the cold stone. Closing my eyes, I felt a faint gust of wind on my cheek, opening my eyes, I saw a single cherry blossom petal land on my left hand.

"Oh, Sakura," I gently clutched the petal in my shaking fingers and held it to my chest, tears finally falling as I shut my eyes.

"I love you." I whispered one last time before I placed the bouquet in front of the stone and slowly rose to my feet.

"Sleep well, my love."


End file.
